Romance in the form of attention or gifts at the beginning of a date does feel sweet. However, beware love bombing that may be present in your relationship. Love bombing usually characterized by manipulative behavior by a partner, after you have received loving treatment.
When you’re in love, it’s normal for your partner to pamper you with attention, sweet gifts, and romantic gestures. You too may get carried away, and give a higher trust and endless love for your partner.
But sometimes, all that lovingly given is just a manipulative ploy. You will be made to fall deeply in love, until he can control your life. This behavior is popularly referred to as love bombing.
There are several reasons why someone does love bombing, one of which is narcissistic personality disorder. This personality disorder is characterized by a desire to manipulate someone, by giving various compliments and attention so that they are seen as the perfect match.
People with narcissistic personalities are very good at showing that they deserve to be admired and recognized. The worst part is, the words of love that are expressed solely to get what they want, such as money, sex, compliments, and attention.
So, the more you are lulled by their seduction, the smoother the motives they have planned.
Signs Love Bombing What to Watch Out for
At first it was difficult to distinguish true love or true love love bombing. However, there are some recognizable signs to deter perpetrators love bombing control your life, including:
1. One-way communication
If your partner talks more about themselves and ignores your wants or needs, this could be a sign love bombing. This one-way communication is not only unhealthy, it creates an opening for them to control anything about you.
2. Too many gifts
Although it’s nice to receive gifts from loved ones, you need to be suspicious when gifts are given too much and seem excessive. Perpetrator love bombing also usually don’t want to listen to your refusal to give them a gift.
This is a manipulative tactic used by the abuser to make you feel indebted to them. When you feel indebted, usually someone will more easily grant the wishes of others.
However, not everyone who likes to give gifts is a doer love bombing. It could be because he knows that your love language is receiving gifts, then he is happy to give you gifts. So, create good communication with your partner so that there are no misunderstandings, OK.
3. Always say a sentence of praise
Constant compliments from your partner at the beginning of the date can be signs of love bombing. Some sentences that are generally used by perpetrators love bombing including:
- “I want to live with you forever”
- “You make me comfortable”
- “You are so perfect to complete my life”
- “Only with you I can fall in love like this”
If this sentence is said after a long romantic relationship, of course it will make your heart flutter. But if it comes out at the beginning of a date and in a very short time, this is worth cheating because it seems insincere.
4. Wants your full attention
Perpetrator love bombing will always want your undivided attention, no matter if you are busy or need some time to me time. These signs usually appear after they overwhelm you with sweet treats, behavior, and words at the start of a date.
They might get angry when you hangout with friends, and even limit your association. In fact, true love should not be restrained. A good partner will always respect your privacy and the time you have, and give you the freedom to do whatever you want as long as it’s good for you.
5. Want commitment in a short time
Just met but already making big plans like wedding? It could be a sign love bombing. Real relationships take time to develop, which includes getting to know your partner’s character and considering the possibility of taking it to a more serious level.
Rushing to plan for the future will only create high expectations, and run the risk of deep disappointment. This behavior can also make you overly trusting, making it easy for the abuser to control everything, including blackmail and sexual harassment.
6. Very sensitive to criticism
As previously explained, the perpetrator love bombing have a tendency to develop narcissistic personality disorder. Well, one of the signs of this personality disorder is very sensitive if given criticism or input.
They will feel insulted when you criticize, and end up in denial.
What to Do When Stuck in Love Bombing?
When in love, many people do not realize what they have done for their partner. This often makes a person trapped in a toxic relationship, because he is unable to control the love that is so passionate and fulfills whatever decisions his partner makes.
A healthy relationship will give each other the freedom to express their feelings or do things they like. Of course there is nothing wrong with giving attention and love. But be aware, too much attention can make a person feel constrained.
If you feel this way, invite your partner to communicate. Express everything that is stuck in your heart, whether it’s an expression of love that feels suspicious or limits in socializing that make you feel constrained.
You can see how the character of your partner really is, from the way he reacts to the things you say. If he opens up and explains why he behaves the way he does, maybe you and your partner can work together to find a solution.
But if he responds with anger or is trying to control your life more and more, it may be time to end the relationship. If it continues, it’s not impossible love bombing will end up being violent and abused, both physically and emotionally.
Also, try to stay logical if you receive an expression of love the first time you meet. Don’t drown in sweet words from someone you just met, because real relationships take time to develop.
There’s no need to rush when you fall in love. Everything will come with the right people and at the right time. Don’t expect that falling in love will make you happy. Happy yourself before falling in love is the best thing to avoid the trap of perpetrators love bombing.
However, if you or someone close to you has a tendency to do love bombingdo not hesitate to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist to get the right treatment.
