Talking about sex, can not be separated from the term orgasm. Generally, a person will experience an orgasm when he feels satisfied and reaches his climax when making love. So on the other hand, someone who doesn’t have an orgasm indicates if he doesn’t reach his satisfaction in making love. Is that right, Bela?
Orgasm, especially experienced by women, is still a mystery that causes differences in understanding for each person. Maybe, the fact that you know about orgasm, is just a myth that you shouldn’t believe. Then, what are the myths of sexual satisfaction? Launching from SelfHere’s a list of orgasm myths that you might have believed before.
I don’t know where it came from, but most people believe that someone will have an orgasm when making love. But in fact for most women, the assumption is less realistic. Quote from Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, only a third of women who can reach orgasm regularly while making love. A woman can not reach orgasm due to various factors, such as being too tired, stressed, distracted, or not feeling able to achieve satisfaction in sex.
Quote from Mayo clinicIn fact, most women can’t achieve orgasm just by vaginal penetration, or simply sex that is done normally through the intimate organs. A third of women can climax during sex if they get additional stimulation, such as oral. That tends to happen because of the added attention to the clitoris, which is often believed to make a woman reach her orgasm. So, orgasm can not only be achieved through the penetration of intimate organs, really. Sex satisfaction can be achieved in other ways, or by adding extra attention to certain sensitive areas of the body when making love.
No doubt, orgasms can be quite intense. One could feel like releasing something so great, it made the body tremble. However, orgasm can also occur more “quietly”. Still quoting from Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada, some women do not feel muscle contractions during orgasm. However, there is a feeling as if something is expelling from the body, followed by a feeling of relaxation and comfort.
“People think that orgasm has to be like a pretty intense experience during sex. But sometimes, it can also be more subtle. You can even have an orgasm without knowing it,” says Linda Banner, Ph.D., sexual medicine specialist in San Jose, California.
In most women, orgasm is more of a mental phenomenon than a physical one. In other words, the partner can try to provide stimulation. But when your mind is elsewhere, orgasm will be difficult. “Mentality makes up a big component of orgasm,” says Banner. “If stress levels are high enough, you feel irritated, anxious, or scared, it can affect your sexual response. You’re not going to enjoy sex.”
A third of women never reach orgasm when doing it alone. However, they can achieve this through oral or manual stimulation, such as masturbating or using vibrator–and there’s nothing wrong with that, Bela. Achieving orgasm not because of “normal” sex is a normal variation of female sexuality. Some are able to achieve it with the help of a partner, others are not.
For most women, achieving one orgasm during sex is hard enough to do. Especially if you want to do it together with a partner. Because, quoting from Brown University, women take about 20 minutes to reach orgasm, while men can reach it within 2-3 minutes after starting sex. Then what about the orgasms that take place in a row? Banner says if it’s not something normal to happen when making love.
Can reach orgasm when making love gives a different sensation. However, that does not make orgasm the main goal of sex, Bela. Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean that intimate activity is a “failure,” or that your partner “fails” to satisfy you. The most important thing to note in making love is the comfort that you and your partner feel when making love, and the increasing intimacy between you after doing it.
Most of these myths about orgasms arise from movies or sex stories that describe the perfect sex routine. In fact, not everything that happens in the scene or narrative is true or normal, such as one of them regarding orgasm. A person can have an orgasm when making love, and it is certainly very satisfying. However, a person can not have an orgasm and that is normal, Bela.
Also Read: Don’t Feel Guilty! This is the reason women can’t have an orgasm