Every human being, without exception, must have made mistakes. Whether it was born by accident or really intentional, every mistake needs to end with an apology. This is what sometimes becomes homework for some people, they feel awkward and are not used to apologizing.
Reported Psychology Today, according to one of the authors, Dan Neuharth Ph.D., MFT, many apologies don’t really seek forgiveness. In fact, fake apologies like that make a lot of excuses, evade responsibility, and even make the other person feel even worse. Here are 5 types of fake apologies that are commonly used, don’t be fooled.
1. “Sorry, I just…”
illustration of boy and girl (pexels.com/Alex Green)Have you ever heard an apology like this, “Sorry, I was just kidding.” or “Sorry, I just wanted to help.” This type of apology is often used to justify that the perpetrator’s actions were right and that of the victim just that feels too much. He just wants to help, right? Certain?
People who apologize like this don’t actually feel guilty at all. And if someone apologizes like this to you, remember one thing, you have the right to feel what you are feeling right now. You’re not Overreacting, your feelings are valid. You deserve a sincere apology.
2. “Sorry if you feel like that.”
illustration of two women looking sorry (pexels.com/Liza Summer)When someone says, “Sorry if you feel that way.” The real point is that they’re apologizing for your feelings for causing trouble like this. They don’t really apologize for what they did. They even blame you, it’s your own fault why you can think like that. It’s all your fault and your feelings.
This type of apology is widely used by gas lighter as a way of blaming their victims. Things like this make the victim feel that this is all their fault. Have you ever received an apology like this?
3. “Sorry, but…”
illustration of two women looking sorry (pexels.com/Liza Summer)Continue reading the article below
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“Sorry, but you started first.” How does it feel to receive an apology like that? It must be even more annoying, right? It’s better not to apologize at all than being half-hearted like that. So the intention is to apologize or want to blame someone else?
Instead of sincerely apologizing, they even dared to give reasons to justify their actions. They do not want to be responsible for their actions and give full responsibility to the victim. It’s wrong, blame anyway, what’s lacking?
Also read: 5 Signs that You Actually Underestimate Other People’s Apologies
4. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Oh, how are you? It’s not very good, huh. I’m so sorry, huh!”
illustration of a couple (pexels.com/Kampus Production)Have you ever received an apology that Overreacting? That person doesn’t stop apologizing until it makes you feel bad for yourself. Excessive apologies like this are not actually trying to fix what was wrong to the other person, but rather to correct the guilt feelings of the perpetrator.
They keep apologizing to make themselves feel better. They don’t even care if you want to accept the apology or not. They indirectly beg others to tell them that their actions were not wrong. His apologies focus more on themselves, not on the victim.
5. “Yes, sorry, satisfied now?”
illustration of feeling sad (pixabay.com/vdnhieu)This is what makes high blood pressure the most. It should be the victim who has the right to be angry, the victim who has the right to yell, why is it that the perpetrator is angry? I’m sorry, yes, but it’s not very sincere, so I’ve been lazy to hear it first.
This type of apology can fall into bullying because it is usually said in a threatening tone. They are angry that you find fault with them and don’t want to be told at all if they are wrong. If you meet someone like this, just stay away, it’s not good for your life.
Those are the 5 types of fake apologies. Sometimes in life, we may apologize in the ways above and make the victim feel even more uncomfortable. Therefore, when apologizing, try to put yourself in the victim’s shoes. What kind of apology would you like to get? You yourself already know the answer, don’t be afraid to apologize if you are wrong.
Also read: 5 things that make it difficult for someone to accept an apology, trauma!
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