Among the many series that are currently being hotly discussed, there is a documentary that is not only very interesting to watch but can also provide valuable lessons, namely The Tinder Swindler.
If you thought you fell victim to a massive scam for dating strangers from a dating app only in the movies, it turns out that anything can happen in real life and that’s exactly what the documentary shows. The Tinder Swindler.
As the title implies, the fraud occurred through the dating application Tinder and was carried out by a fraudster named Shimon Yehuda Hayut. Born and raised in a small town outside Tel Aviv, Israel, Shimon claims to be Simon Leviev, the son of Lev Leviev, a famous Israeli businessman known as the “Diamond King”.
In The Tinder Swindler, it is said that Simon managed to deceive three women with large sums of money, one of whom was Cecilie Fjellhøy, a Norwegian woman who lives in London. Due to Simon’s persuasion and Cecilie’s trust in him, the 33-year-old woman had to owe up to $250,000 to 9 different banks.
The documentary team itself estimates that Simon managed to swindle more than $10 million from women worldwide and was even imprisoned (though he is currently free).
This incident can happen to anyone, including you!
Maybe you think, you will not be “stupid” and want to be deceived by the person you are dating, don’t be too sure. Why? Because anyone can be used by others, if they are in the right situation (to be cheated).
“When you use a dating app, you automatically put yourself in a vulnerable position. It’s the perfect place for romance con artists to prey on innocent people who believe their soul mate is out there and hopes to find a prince charming,says Amber Lee, relationship expert, matchmaker, and CEO of professional matchmaking services.
Especially if on the first date you have been treated like a princess. Co-founder of dating coach and matchmaking service Emyli Lovz instead advises you to ask yourself, “Why would this stranger want to spend so much money on a first date with me?”
So, there are actually some red flags alias red flags that we can see when dating strangers via dating apps, as told in The Tinder Swindler.
1. Be wary of people who are too ostentatious or overly proud of themselves
Before you even swipe right on Tinder, there’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. “Never date anyone who writes ‘diamond prince’ on their Tinder profile. A billionaire won’t use Tinder,“explained Emily.
The super-rich are more likely to use Raya and The League, membership-based dating apps that require an app and permission to join.
A cheater is a narcissist who believes their own lies. They are so immersed in delusions that when compiling a profile on a dating app, their delusion is written down there.
2. Don’t believe too much in somethingtoo good to be true‘
Everything that looks too good to be true is usually not. It’s all just an illusion.
“When someone seems perfect, chances are they have something to hide. You may actually meet a handsome and charming man, but if you don’t see any flaws and he immediately confesses his love for you, then immediately run the other way,Amber suggested.
This is because a romance cheater will make you feel deeply loved early in the relationship, to make you feel special and create the illusion that you are in a real relationship.
3. Avoid relationships that move too fast
When someone wants to hurt you, he has to move quickly to gain your trust so he can quickly get what he wants, then run away.
In Cecilie’s case, after a month of dating, Simon had asked her to find an apartment in London. Simon even said that his budget was $15,000 per month, or around Rp. 215 million. Fantastic budget isn’t it?
Her sweet promise is that they can move in together and start a family as soon as possible. That was too good to be true, because it was fake!
4. Set limits on personal information
It’s normal to ask questions when you and your date are getting to know each other, but when you start to feel like you’re being investigated, that’s a red flag to look out for.
According to Ruby Payne, relationship and sex expert, “Repeated questions about your past relationships can indicate that the scammer is trying to build your personality into something that appeals to you.”
You should also be suspicious if your date starts asking general but actually quite personal questions, such as your mother’s name, first pet, first car, where you grew up, and so on.
In Simon’s case, he immediately went personal and talked about himself. She told me that she had been divorced and had children, that she had many enemies who wanted to harm her, and that her life was not as beautiful as people imagined. It was his attitude that seemed vulnerable in front of Cecilie, which finally made it easy for Cecilie to trust him. After all, it was all just a trick Simon did to gain trust quickly.
5. Avoid meeting face to face
While Simon’s case is quite different, some scammers generally always put off your first date. The problem is, you can even fall in love without ever meeting him in person, because you are “trapped” in his sweet words.
So, if you haven’t met in person, don’t be in a hurry to fall in love. Especially if he has many reasons not to see you. Even if you finally meet, make sure you don’t find the four signs above so you don’t become a victim of fraud on dating apps.
Love is blind, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do various ways so you don’t become blind in loving someone, right, Bela.
Also Read: 7 Facts about Simon Leviev, the Master Conman in ‘The Tinder Swindler’
Also Read: 15 Red Flags in Relationships, You Can See Since the Beginning of Dating
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