Having been hurt by someone through their attitude or words, it must make us hard to forget, right? All the hurtful things said or done by that person imprinted so deep, that it made a secret feeling of revenge lingers.
It seems that one day we will be ready to repay all these words and actions with something more painful, so that the person concerned can feel the pain we feel. Duh, it seems very vengeful, huh.
In fact, holding grudges is a bad feeling and actually only harms yourself, you know. Because, our hearts are not calm and every day it feels like thinking about it. So, so that you no longer hold grudges, let’s apply the following five things in our daily lives.
1. Accept that everything happens for a reason
illustration of smiling woman (Pexels.com/Tieu Bao Truong)Whatever has happened in the past, we must accept it gracefully. This is one of the right ways to get revenge immediately from our hearts and feelings. Accept every painful past incident as a part of us and believe that every incident has a reason behind it.
Someday, maybe you will be grateful that you have felt this pain. Or maybe, you have become more trained to feel the bitterness of life.
2. Forgive yourself first
happy people illustration (Pexels.com/Nothing Ahead)Not other people, what we have to forgive first is ourselves. Whether it’s ourselves and our thoughts in the past or the present. Both of us must be able to accept even though there may be many mistakes that we make.
More or less, we have allowed other people to hurt our hearts and feelings by putting every bad word into our minds. So, it’s really mandatory to make up with yourself first, huh.
3. Eliminate trauma and heartache
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illustration of a person standing (Pexels.com/Adil Alimbetov)After ourselves, next we need to get rid of the trauma by trying to make up with the situation. Whatever the situation that makes us experience bitter events and have trauma to hold grudges, we must be able to make it a valuable experience instead of continuing to blame and feel disapproved.
Everything that happened has shaped us to become who we are today. So, there is no benefit if we continue to hold grudges and keep hatred for long.
Also read: 5 Ways to Behave with People Who Hate You, Don’t Revenge
4. Forgive even without hearing the word sorry
illustration of people playing gadgets (pexels.com/Katerina Holmes)Well, if we are able to accept ourselves and the various bitter incidents as part of us, of course we must forgive those who have hurt us. You don’t have to hear the word sorry directly. This can actually make us not forgive because we never hear an apology from the person concerned.
Just convince yourself to learn to be big-hearted and forgive the person’s mistakes. There’s nothing to lose for you at all. This actually makes your soul and heart calmer.
5. Let go and slowly live side by side with reality
illustration of smiling woman (Pexels.com/mellamed)Forgetting by itself is the final stage of sincerely forgiving and forgetting grudges. Instead of being busy hating and remembering that grudge to the point of hurting yourself, wouldn’t it be more relieved if you managed to forget all that hatred? Let go of the bitter past and just use it as a lesson.
He who has hurt you doesn’t even think about what he did, then why are you busy hating and wasting your precious time? Meanwhile, all the time and energy that you use to hold grudges can actually be used to do other more useful things. That’s right?
Also Read: 26 Bible Verses About Forgiveness, Don’t Hold Revenge Yes!
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