The level and depth of hurt or disappointment between someone and another after a breakup is certainly not the same. Therefore, it is not surprising that there are still many people who are trapped in negative feelings or emotions. There is no exception to the feeling of guilt that arises from time to time and seems to be very stifling because it never subsides.
So that you don’t linger in guilt after breaking up, consider the following explanation so you can avoid things that can trigger your guilt. keep reading!
1. Always blame yourself
crying illustration (pexels.com/Karolina Grabowska)It feels like when things don’t go as expected, the first thing a person wants to do is blame themselves. You are no exception, lately you have been more silent and pensive, because you are busy blaming yourself.
Even though everything that happened did not only present injuries or problems. However, there are lessons to be learned, no matter how small. If indeed you feel you have made a mistake, then don’t forget to apologize and admit it gracefully. Try also to correct the wrong.
2. Keep on remembering bad words or attitudes that your ex has done to you
brooding illustration (pexels.com/Anete Lusina)Maybe you used to be stuck in an unhealthy relationship, so you are prone to getting bad attitudes from your ex. For example, he deliberately blames you and thinks you are the most responsible person for all the problems that occur. However, what actually happened was that he made you feel uncomfortable when you were in a relationship in the past.
He constantly gives you a lot of negative impacts, for example, he verbally abuses you or is manipulative. The thing you need to realize is that not all the words or attitudes of your ex have to be justified.
It also does not need to be kept in mind. You have to be able to distinguish with a clear mind, which ones are the truth and which ones are just the ex’s arbitrary attitude.
Also read: 5 Magical Ways to Conquer Low Self-esteem, Don’t Want to be Arrogant!
3. Having low self-esteem and feeling unworthy of anyone
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brooding illustration (pexels.com/Sam Pineda)If you made a lot of mistakes in the past and committed to change and improve, then you don’t need to constantly feel inferior. Moreover, you feel unworthy of anyone because you think you are a bad person. You also have to be able to see the good side in yourself that not everyone knows and feels.
The good side is still with you and those who feel it will surely appreciate it. You just need a moment to reflect and introspect yourself to realize your mistakes and shortcomings when you were in a relationship. Then don’t forget to get back up and try to be consistent to be a much more positive person.
4. Constantly comparing yourself to your ex’s new boyfriend
couple illustration (unsplash.com/ave calvar)There will be no end if you are constantly comparing yourself to others. For example, you might compare yourself to an ex’s new boyfriend who you find more physically attractive.
This is of course useless, because we all know that humans have advantages and disadvantages. Don’t let you just focus on your shortcomings and make you insecurethen feel guilty again because you think it’s your shortcomings that made him leave you.
5. Don’t keep thinking you’re the only one to blame in the relationship
gloomy illustration (pexels.com/Karolina Grabowska)The breakup of a relationship must not only be the result of one party, but two parties, because both are responsible for building a harmonious and lasting relationship.
If you feel guilty because you think that you are the main factor in breaking up a relationship, you should also realize that he must have made a mistake, whether intentional or not.
If you think you are the only one who is wrong, then the burden and pain you feel will actually increase. You feel like you’re not good enough as a partner, even though it’s possible that in the relationship you’ve been trying your best to make him feel comfortable and loved.
It’s good to feel guilty for realizing your mistakes and shortcomings while in a relationship. However, don’t let you drag on feeling guilty and don’t avoid the triggers why you are like that. You also have the right to be happy and don’t forget to improve yourself to become a good person in the future.
Also Read: New Friends Break Up? These are 5 ways to become a support system for him
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